SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Kevin Darnell, a 34-year-old regional sales manager, informed his Fantasy Football group chat Wednesday that he could "absolutely run an NFL defense" based on his complete viewing history of Hard Knocks and what he described as "a pretty advanced Madden background."

Darnell's defensive scheme, outlined in a 2,200-word text message, consists of "blitzing when they don't expect it" and "not blitzing when they do." When asked what he would do on third-and-long, he said "depends" and changed the subject to whether anyone had tried the new flavor of Celsius.

"I think what makes me different is I watch the tape," Darnell said. When asked to clarify the difference between tape and game, he said "the tape is different" and pointed at the television, which was playing a rerun of Bar Rescue.

He is currently 2-9 in his Fantasy league and has made 47 waiver claims this season, 31 of which he described as "strategic."